What gets you out of bed in the morning? Your “Why?”?

What gets you out of bed in the morning? Your “Why?”?

by | 25 Feb 2021 | Leadership Matters

What gets you out of bed in the morning? Why your “WHY?” is so important.

Simon Sinek is famous for the third most popular TED talk of all time, based on his book Start with Why. (Given its continued value, relevance and ubiquity, makes you wonder what the top two are*)

Mr Sinek says this about his decision to highlight the importance of purpose:

In 2009 … [I] started a movement to help people become more inspired at work, and in turn inspire their colleagues and customers … People like Martin Luther King Jr., Steve Jobs, and the Wright Brothers had little in common, but they all started with WHY. They realized that people won’t truly buy into a product, service, movement, or idea until they understand the WHY behind it.

Mine is a crude paraphrase of his explanation of the birth of his bestseller, Start with Why. It does, however, make the point.

You need to know WHY you are doing something, for others to want to follow you, either to work with you or to buy from you. What is your purpose in doing what you do?

You also need to be clear about your reasons for doing what you do, when you are a leader. Why should your team follow you? After all, just because something is of burning importance to you, it doesn’t follow that they have to be obsessed with it too. Something which fires and inspires you may well be a damp squib for others.

Unless …

Unless the people you are seeking to inspire can see not only the reason behind the thing that inspires you AND the impact that has on you. What are the benefits? How does it make you feel?

And that’s the important bit. It’s not the reason. In fact, it’s the way the reason makes you feel (with apologies to the late Maya Angelou) that makes the real difference.

When people are busy, with stressful lives, full diaries and then the external pressures of things like hardship, environmental concerns and, of course, the pandemic, motivation can be a real problem. You can look at Mazlow, you can cite Herzberg … but if you’re not “feeling it” then you’re not going to be motivated.

That goes for you as a leader, and it goes for every one of the people you lead. Why should they follow you? Money, hierarchy, power all influence, of course. They don’t get people out of bed in the morning with anything other than reluctance, however, if those people don’t feel that your leadership motivation is working for them, they simply won’t follow you. And you can only be a leader when people are prepared to be led.

So, you can simply tell people why YOU like x,y,z and how it makes YOU feel, and that’s the problem solved, right?

Nope.

It is, as Maya Angelou said, how you make THEM feel, which is so important. So when you are using your own motivation as the tool to motivate your team, you need to remember what is going on for THEM, as well as for yourself. Watch, listen and learn what motivates different people to achieve different things, at different times? Every team will be super-successful with a focus on diversity, most importantly diversity of thought. That translates as diversity of motivation, or different strokes for different folks, as it’s often said.

How can you find out what motivates your team? How about asking them? And how about asking them what is important to them, rather than what motivates them? Get to know your team. Learn how your team tick as individuals, as well as the collective whole. Get to know your team’s Why.

If you would like to know how to motivate your team (and maybe yourself) better, it only takes a quick chat with me to check we’re compatible.  That chat is 100% free and 100% confidential. No-one will know you’ve been in touch, so no-one will know you asked for help.  (Asking for help is a massive STRENGTH, by the way, but that’s another blog …).  It’s OK not to have have all the answers. Leaders with all the answers are unicorns. Just saying …

Nomatter the need for secrecy or your confidence in your ability to show your team you care and want do to the best for them, leadership coaching will really help. Your team will benefit indirectly, which means your customers will too, so you will benefit from growth all over again. 360’ of wins! Please get in touch, and let’s get you started on finding your Why?

* The top two are, by the late and great Sir Ken Robinson, on whether schools kill creativity in our children, and the famous talk by Prof Amy Cuddy on body language and posing which still has people talking to this day.

Drum Roll … the new website is launched!

Drum Roll … the new website is launched!

by | 6 Feb 2021 | Leadership Matters

If you want to know about my company’s services, it’s now even easier – with our shiny new website!

For some years, I had had websites which did the job and I am grateful for the support in their development (and continued hosting) to Artisan Internet. However, the time had come to integrate the Astrid Davies Consulting website with other aligned sites such as Aspire4Business. Therefore, who better to turn to, to help me redesign the site than Jayne Caudle?   She is the developer behind the successful Aspire4Business suite of sites.

The impact? An immediate increase in bot activity!  Pedro the Peruvian bot, my lonely regular interaction on my old site, has competition.

Actually, in all seriousness, the new site has already yielded two expressions of interest in my company’s services.  In addition, those of my contacts who have had a look have come back with a range of positives, mostly that they love the clean look, unmistakable branding and the clear way the company’s services are set out.

Interestingly, a few of my contacts have commented that the site helped them find out much more about what we all do here at ADCL.  It tells them with and for whom we work.  It also tells them how we do it. In other words, the website is explaining my company’s offer.  Whether you fancy executive coaching, leadership and career mentoring, leadership development, profiling or the fast-growing Future Leaders Breakfast networking product, we can clearly help.

The point really is – the website and service clarity is new, but the quality and commitment to your leadership journey are still as high as ever.

It’s not just about the site, tho’

There’s a wider message here. New shiny packaging can attract and sell.  It will get your attention. It will hopefully intrigue you and invite you to think how you can use the product or service in that shiny packaging. However, the product or service HAS to be good quality and reliably sound. You have to be able to see how you could use that quality. You have to understand the benefits you could see, for yourself and your business. Some of that can come from that shiny packaging being clear. A lot of your ability to see the benefits, however, has to come from you knowing what you want and need.

Knowing what you want and need is crucial for your business success – but it isn’t always easy.  And that’s the key.  Asking for help, or simply kicking ideas around with a trusted confidante, can help you to order your thoughts, and clarify your priorities.

So if you would find it helpful, to have a chat about what is troubling you in your business, please get in touch.

100% confidential. 100% free for your initial chat. Zero obligation. 100% focused on helping you to help yourself.

Shiny new website, same high quality support.

Image: courtesy of rawpixel via Unsplash

Reflections on 2020 – a lost year?

Reflections on 2020 – a lost year?

by | 31 Dec 2020 | Uncategorised

I am writing this on New Year’s Eve, December 31st 2020, joining in what is probably a world-wide reflection on the past year and the fact that, for most, it was a shocker.

Does that mean, however, that it was a lost year, as some have described it?  I would beg to differ.  I think whatever life throws at you, offers you some “lovely learning” as a tutor of mine once said.  This may sound worthy, but I am with Einstein, who apparently said that when you stop learning, you start dying.

So, what have I learned, on the basis of this reflection?  Firstly, that I am a misanthrope, mistrustful of my fellow citizens as they have taken fewer anti-Covid precautions than me and who have on occasions been pretty aggressive about their right to infect me with the hidden dangers of the pandemic.

Secondly, despite my misanthropic viewpoint, I have come to realise with fervent gratitude that there really ARE some truly wonderful people out there, and I am thankful they exist and do what they do so splendidly.  NHS workers at all levels, carers and social workers, teachers, police, bin collectors, voluntary sector key workers, fire fighters and even Service personnel, drafted in sometimes to provide reinforcements during the pandemic.  All of these people and many more found themselves in the front line in the fight against the pandemic, and they did so voluntarily, unselfishly and bravely.  Worth recognition with something more lasting and material than a few token-gesture claps, in my view.

Thirdly, I have learned that, sadly, my misanthropy is still well-placed, with the people who have still stolen, still harmed others, still acted appallingly to employees, still failed to lead on a catastrophic level and generally failed to behave decently to others throughout 2020.  The incidence of domestic violence has risen and mental ill-health is at record levels – both these acute needs for state action have been exacerbated by pathetic levels of resourcing at a national level which has then been further whittled away at the local level.  Some people have still scammed the vulnerable, exploiting older people’s lack of savvy when it comes to online.  Some people have maintained their narrow racist, homophobic and misogynist views and promoted them ever wider because more lockdown time allowed more time to troll.  And I am targeting my comments at national politicians as much as keyboard-warrior saddos.  How sad that is even A Thing.

Fourth, and perhaps most importantly of all, I have found that all the trite verbiage about “the human spirit” from this past year may, just may, be true.  I have seen better understanding between local residents previously riven by Brexit and other rival causes.  I have seen better communication between organisations and their customers (“need to know” really streamlines those marketing puff emails).  Most intriguingly, I have seen ordinary people envisage extraordinary things, and then achieve them – even exceed them in the case of Capt Sir Tom Moore and many other fundraisers throughout the year.  A lot of people, doing great things quietly, without a massive impact, but doing what they could to make things a bit better for themselves and those around them.  Often, I have seen this, either in person or via media, as someone embarrassedly shrugging and saying “well, it’s nothing really – you just do what you can”.  And yet, doing what they could has meant the world to someone else.  By doing something differently, checking what was needed to make the most immediate difference, being brave enough to give something a try, in the hope it would work but willing to accept if it didn’t … and then try something else again.

And what makes them prepared to keep on trying to succeed?  For some, it may be indomitable spirit.  For others, it could be blind, dogged, stubbornness.  I am hopeful, however, that for some others, they have discovered their leadership capabilities – understanding that they could make life better for and with people.  By believing that something is always possible, with lots of hard work, determination and joining forces with others, these latent leaders have created mini-miracles, across the UK and around the world, every day.

That’s a lovely thought and one that will sustain me through 2021, whatever it throws at us.

And if you know that you have that leadership talent within you, but you’re not too sure how to find it and let it out, I can help with that.  We can have a chat, explore your ideas, and if you like how we work together, we can craft a plan to get you leading, succeeding and, most importantly, believing.  Please get in touch to find out more.

Image courtesy of cottonbro via pexels.com

All lives really do matter – that’s the point!

All lives really do matter – that’s the point!

by | 28 Oct 2020 | Uncategorised

I saw a post on LinkedIn yesterday* decrying the dismantling of monuments to slavery.

The “all lives matter” banner used as as a thinly-veiled sideswipe at BAME and other migrants and refugees in the UK was out in force in the comments. Really unattractive stuff. Or simply racism, to name it clearly.

I deleted my original, gut-feel response. This triggered in me more words than a comment will allow.

My view is that such artefacts of a frankly shameful trade should be removed from public places and placed in a local museum (NOT civic centre) where they are put in context. I say this having run public museums and an Ancient Monument in the UK for a decade. For instance, the Bristol slaver statue could be displayed inside the museum, alongside another exhibit demonstrating graphically what 19,000 people dead at sea might be like, for both scale and impact of the barbarity. Telling the human story explains better than a plaque.

The image on the banner for this article is a graphic created by my late father, who was part of the British Army erasing Bergen-Belsen concentration camp in the early 1950s**. Another example of barbarity on an industrial scale. Virtually nothing remains of this heinous place, to prevent it becoming a focus for any revival of the movement which led to its creation. Taking a different stance, the Polish have chosen to retain Auschwitz as a memorial to the murdered, with the very dust on your shoes a salutary reminder of racism and sub-human discrimination – it is still the dust from the crematoria (made by AEG incidentally). That is human remains on your shoe. That is real, immediate and effective.

Focusing back on Bristol, I believe that celebration of such barbarity has no place in the public realm of a civilised and diverse culture. The filibustering and wrangling by interest groups in Bristol, over the wording on a plaque to contextualise the slave trade, is a blight on all involved. The dismantling was a direct response to their collective failure to find an urgent remedy.

This is posted on a business forum because

  1. It is important to me that my business is carried out on declared ethical principles; and
  2. I want to stress the point on every platform, that all lives DO matter. However, some, which are under threat of violence and abuse daily, deserve and need more protection than those which are often unwittingly benefitting from the “privilege” of simply having less melanin than other groups. Put it in that context, we see how arbitrary and nonsensical racism is. We might as well be saying “freckled” as “black” or “BAME” or “POC”. Irrational, unreasonable and unfair, whatever word you use.

I run an ethical practice, working with all my clients to help them improve their working lives through positive change, whatever their background. I am anti-racist; normally I do not prosthelytise. At the moment, however, I need to speak out. The backlash is on its way against the #BLM movement. Again. It is a tragedy and a disgrace in my view that #BLM is even necessary and the fact it is still necessary means none of us should rest until equality of opportunity and treatment is a fact, not a mere aspiration. For Black Lives, for LGBTQ lives, for young lives, for old lives, for every faith under the sun … wanting equality of opportunity and a fair treatment in society for all groups does nothing to diminish the rights of the majority in predominately-white nations. It is this inclusivity which makes us whole.

It is important to note here that broadening the argument for the purposes of one article is NOT an acceptance that dilution of focus is OK. There needs to be a focus on Black Lives, but not as a black-square fad used by celebrities and, amazingly, museums storing (or even built on the profits from) slavery proceeds, with no real awareness of what it actually meant. Instead our focus needs to be on a real shared movement which we all work to progress. That does not mean we can relax and not take action to support the rights of the disabled, or to push for greater mutual religious tolerance and understanding, or accept discrimination against the LGBTQ community. There is so much to do on so many fronts, we simply cannot let up. Everyone has a role to play, to move our societies forward by the step, or by the giant leap.

I ask that everyone who reads this considers their own approach to operating a business and, if it isn’t truly for everyone, please reflect on what that is about for you. Please ask yourself why someone’s skin colour (or faith, sexuality, age or any other reason offered for discrimination from a what is likely to be a pretty narrow set of “norms”) is a genuine and valid reason to disadvantage another human being. That could be current colour-based discrimination, as is sadly so evident in the US (and UK and other diverse states too). It could also be the celebration of an individual from history with Africans’ blood on their hands, because they profited from human misery and death and used that profit to fund a city. Not just “not a great look”. That is downright unacceptable in the twenty-first century.

#racism #slavery #inclusion #bethechangeyouseek #positivechange #leadership

  • This post was inspired by an iconic image of a slave trader’s statue being toppled and sent into the harbour at Bristol.  This image was taken by a young photojournalist named Ned Collyer.  Look out for his work !

**Incidentally, my late grandparents were the only people in their Gloucestershire town to welcome black GIs to be billetted with them prior to the D-Day preparations. As a result, my father was left with a lifelong appreciation of, and respect for, African American culture (jazz and food were simplistic yet easy to translate to a teenager) and subsequently for the civil rights movement in the US. I am proud he brought me up to share those values and to aspire to improve my understanding of and for all positive cultures.

Want to know about my Coaching? That all depends … on you

Want to know about my Coaching? That all depends … on you

by | 24 Nov 2019 | Leadership Matters

I am often asked what sort of coaching I offer. This question is most often asked by potential corporate clients, looking to procure a leadership development coach to work with their top team and tick a box regarding the quality of service on offer. There’s lots of different sorts / types / styles – Situational, Co-active, with NLP, Outcome-focused, GROW, CLEAR – and that’s before you get to the contexts for coaching – Business, Life, Sports, Career, Developmental, Breakthrough … it’s a busy field.

However, there are quite a few times this question is asked, when people aren’t in the least bit interested my professional definitions.  That’s just too esoteric. In fact, what they want to know is how their sessions would run.  They want to know what it would be like to be coached.  Even more, they want to know whether they would enjoy it. Essentially, they are asking me whether it’s a good idea for them. They ask from a position of uncertainty (sometimes even mild distrust). It’s so tricky to answer, because it’s all a matter of taste. It’s also, very importantly, a matter of the coach’s skill. That’s what has motivated me to write this article, because it can be tough to explain this to clients without either waffling or looking a really smug smart-a*se.

OK, maybe it’s easier for some, but for me, it’s really difficult. I can sell stuff to people with ease – made a success of this in Birmingham’s Pallisades and London’s Oxford Street in another life. Trick is, selling a good product is much more difficult when it’s yourself, or at least it is for me. So I thought it would be sensible to set out my approach, so that I can point people to a blog, and save us all the awkwardness!

My coaching journey (the short version!)

Best to start at the very beginning, as the song says. I trained as a coach over 20 years ago, specifically trained to coach and facilitate group coaching and meetings at Board level. I was trained in the corporate basic GROW model, and NLP techniques. In those days, certification wasn’t as easy as now, so I simply used my skills in coaching and mentoring peers, reports, management and politicians for the next two decades in public service in the UK. This invaluable practice reinforced a key element of my initial learning: everyone is different.  Consequently, they will need to be coached differently too.

Fast-forward to the mid 20-teens, and I am facing a hip replacement, domestic relocation and redundancy. Oh and I am turning 50. What else to do but … start a business, using my coaching and mentoring expertise?! Suddenly I am meeting people from totally different walks of life, few of whom have come across even the concept of coaching, let alone which sort they’d prefer. I find myself with a growing client base, happily, and there are some similarities, for sure. Lots of young professionals looking to expand their career, lots of perfectionists looking to avoid burn out, lots of Board level executives looking to move away from their current workloads and develop the next phase of their careers. Despite those similarities, every single one of them is an individual, and therefore requires … deserves … a different coaching approach.

The nuts and bolts of my coaching

The key element, which underpins every coaching session, is that I listen. Really listen. Not sit there, nodding and rehearsing my own To Do list (yep, I really have seen that done). I listen to what the client is saying (and what they’re not). I also “listen” to what their body language tells me, what their silences tell me, what their eyes tell me. Observing how the client likes to take on information, how they like to explain things to me, how they like things done.

Once I know all that, I can start to ask my questions. Purposeful, insightful questionning is another cornerstone of quality coaching. My questions will often hit home faster (and harder) because of the time I have invested in checking them as the coaching conversation has progressed. The questions should not be “leading”, because coaching is about the client’s agenda, not the coach’s. Good ways to frame this are using the “4 bums on a rugby post” approach (ask me about that one!). The questions should only be “closed” when I am checking facts. The questions should make it easy for the client to see their perspective from a different perspective … but very often, the questions will stop clients in their tracks, purely because that different perspective is one which either they haven’t considered, or one that they have been avoiding. And there’s the rub – the words that are left unspoken, the gaps in the story.

And then …

This takes me to another key element of my coaching style … silence. This will make some people, who think they know me, laugh out loud as I am a chatty soul. That’s the point, ‘though. For me to hold client’s silences, keep their headspace clear for their thoughts, protect them in a safe quiet space to allow reflection and analysis of the issues, is a massive responsibility, an acknowledged duty … and largely the point of my role. If I were to talk through their silences, it would make it difficult to think about the different perspectives raised by the questionning. It would also make it difficult for the client to be able to think about a way forward.

And then …

That, in turn, brings me to another vital part of my coaching sessions … the plan. I am an inveterate planner. Always a woman with a plan! Why? Because it helps formulate all the different busy thoughts into a way to move forward on a particular project. And that’s the same for clients. I encourage clients to focus on what they want (their Goal), work out what’s working for them and what’s not (their Reality), understand what they could do, no-holds-barred (their Options) and then devise a brief list of tasks to move them towards their Goal (their what-they-Will-do list). That’s the GROW basic. I also tack on Tactics (how they will turn that action list to their advantage) and Habits (what clients need to change, to make their new Goal and associated changes stick). That’s why I actually use the GROWTH model. Tried, tested, proven.

The privilege of coaching

As you can see, so much of coaching with me depends on the client, and also on the coach. A coach has a massively-responsible role, helping a client to identify, nurture and achieve their dreams. It’s a huge privilege and one which I relish. It’s also great to hear from clients what they take from coaching sessions. Sometimes it’s structure in the maelstrom, sometimes it’s emptying their heads, sometimes it’s simply having a plan.

Some of the points in this piece may have triggered thoughts for you, and made you think you might like to find out more about coaching. Great idea. It may even have made you think that coaching with me would be helpful. Brilliant idea! Please get in touch – I would love to hear your reaction to this piece – and how you think I might be able to help you. Just don’t ask me how I will do it!