As I write this, snow is falling fast, if not thick. I live on the South Coast of the UK. I know, I know, hardly Nova Scotia. However, it’s causing havoc with workplaces and transport. That means lots of us are at home unexpectedly.

Taking advantage of unexpected time is always a good plan. Using that time to your long term advantage – especially when you are on paid time – is genius! There’s a well-known coaching pun, “Give yourself the Gift of The Present”. In other words, not necessarily mine, “Be Here, Now”. Stop what you are doing (making yet another cuppa, sneaking a read of the paper rather than the meeting notes you really ought to [be seen to] read, cruising social media …).

This extra time, away from the hurly burly of the office, is a real gift. How many times could you truthfully say you have stopped to think about what you are doing, and how you are doing it, recently? Feels a bit of a luxury, doesn’t it? Well, now’s the chance to make the most of that luxury, to take time to sit and think. I am not suggesting you develop a deep meditative state, but you’re welcome to if that is helpful. However, I am most definitely suggesting that you get yourself into a comfortable space, without distractions, and simply sit, relax … and think. Allow your mind to run free, helping it along with positive thoughts you can introduce into the mix from time to time. Don’t use this priceless time to sit and wallow in your woes or to fret about all the work that will be tumbling into your inbox waiting for your return. Instead, how would it be if you use this time, this precious time, to think about all the good things you have in your life? All the good things you have achieved? All the things you have done for others which were the right thing to do (even if they didn’t receive the accolades or recognition … it’s not about that, right?!)? By focusing intently on the positive, we can actually train our minds to bring positive thoughts to the fore, first, when we are problem solving.

Of course, every topic will have its downsides, but finding the positives, the benefits, the plus-points will help you to frame a project or a pitch in a way which will connect with your colleagues and customers on a deeper level. It will tap into their appetite for good things happening to them (it’s on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, folks!). Thinking positively also helps to bring potential problems and challenges into perspective. Your boss may not really have it in for you – they may simply be passing on some of the ridiculous pressures they themselves are feeling. That workload isn’t actually a mountain … it is in fact a pile of work, some of which could be done by someone else and some of which doesn’t probably need to be done at all.

So you’re surrounded by all this white … and there’s also a hush that accompanies snow … ever noticed that? Take some time to consider the whiteness. Seriously. It’s a blank canvas, whose purity can actually cover a whole lot of things. It simplifies. How about using that simplicity in your thinking? Focus on the simple things. What is going on for you now? What do you want out of life right now? How can you achieve what you want? What’s the first step or two towards getting what you want? When will you take those steps? Answer these questions in a considered and thoughtful way, being “present” (ie no distractions, no phone, no kids … just the still white quiet of a snowbound day).

When you have spent this time in your thinking space, you will find that you actually have a plan. That plan is worth writing down – you might forget it if you don’t. Write it down, keep it safe … and then think about how you implement it … how you actually take those steps. It may not be magical, but using snow-time to get into your thinking space can have truly remarkable results. Try it, and let me know in the comments how you get on. And if, having done a bit of this thinking and planning, you find yourself thinking that getting more of this into your life would be a good thing, please get in touch to find out how a few purposeful conversations with me could really get you a long way along the road to what you want from life. I can’t always guarantee snow, though!

Photo by Edoardo Busti on Unsplash

Uncertainty can be fun … provided you’re on a well-maintained rollercoaster or maybe a funfair ghost train. It’s not always great in business, however. Particularly if you are responsible for running that business, and have the responsibilities of having staff (and their responsibilities) to think about.

As I am writing this, the Bank of England is issuing warnings about interest rises. That links in many business operators’ minds as “uh-oh – wages and prices going up”. A fair link to make, and one which immediately focuses attention on the bottom line, and the business’ affordability. Business resilience is something many organisations (such as CBI and IoD) have published about. However, I am pleased to report that the Institute of Directors has also published on personal resilience and this is my focus for this blog.

By personal resilience, I simply mean that someone running a business is able to cope, on a very personal level, with the stresses and strains involved in everyday trading. That ability to cope varies from person to person: one person’s fit of the “jazz hands” may simply equate to another person’s cathartic outburst, after which they feel much better. Conversely, one person’s stiff upper lip and self-perceived stoicism can be seen by others as being buttoned-up and internalising stress in an unhealthy way. We are all of us human, with all the frailties and blessings that brings. This is about looking after your mental health and that of your team.

What that means, in terms of ensuring personal resilience, therefore varies from person to person because we all respond differently. We all of us have human needs, however. Basic, some would argue primal, needs. Abraham Maslow famously described a hierarchy of needs which is used widely (including by me!) to help people understand the motivational roots of their own actions and desires, and those of others. Crucially important to any leader in an organisation, this. I often combine my exploration of Maslow’s theory with that of another American academic, Frederick Herzberg, whose Motivation to Work analysed what motivated people in the workplaces he had studied. These two combine with a convenient level of overlap, which helps me to translate basic human needs into workforce motivation for my clients and their teams. If you would like an infographic summarising the relationship between these theories, please click here to download the handout.

Knowing the theory doesn’t always equip you to manage the practical implications of uncertainty. In fact, they can often be unwelcome details which get in the way of a good old-fashioned panic! So, having noted there’s some really great theory to read about your motivations and understanding in the abstract why you/others do the things you/they do, how can you do something practical, right here and now, to sort out your uncertainty?

That’s where simple resilience building techniques come in. First, it is important to realise, acknowledge and actually believe that you can’t control every situation. That is a massive first step to being able to cope. Next, it is vital to know what you are doing, the reason you are doing it, and to be able to analyse it (as objectively as you can) to see what is actually going on. It is important to know what you want from the situation you find yourself in. It is also important to know how much you want that change. Sound silly? Some situations require such momentous change (moving house, retraining, massive investment) that you may want to change them but that simply isn’t realistic … right now. That doesn’t mean you can’t keep that change as a goal (or, preferably, the benefits that change would bring you, as your goal … but that’s a different blog!). And in the middle of all this knowing, you need to be doing a lot of looking too. Look at your own behaviours, look at those of others. What do you notice? What do you like and want more of? What do you want to stop doing … or want others to stop doing? In the middle of all this uncertainty, this may sound like a really tall order. It would be, if you do all these things, all at once, the first time. How would it be, however, to give a few of them a go, to give you a bit more information, a bit more clarity? Wouldn’t it feel good to have a firmer grip on some bits of the problem, so you can make a real start? You would be able to see more things, clearer. That will help you make your first few steps towards resilience. The key is to stay in that place and not move back. So keep practising, keep experimenting, and you will find that you start to respond to new stressors in different ways. You may also find others respond differently to you – better, more positively maybe. And if you want some reminders of how this can work, here’s an infographic which has some top tips, to bolster you on the way to personal resilience.

So next time you sense that you are on the slippery slope downwards towards a panic, or even, heaven help us all, going around the bend with worry, try a few self-help tips to bolster your own resilience. You will soon be on the up!

If you would find it helpful to chat about your resilience, or like to discuss how I could help you/your team build resilience in the workplace, please get in touch. I look forward to hearing from you.

Photo: Priscilla du Preez on Unsplash

Every year, I write something about goal setting for the start of that year. Every year, I meet people who, by the first week in January, have forgotten/ignored/amended their goals … if they had any at all … and the anticlimax has set in. It doesn’t have to be that way, folks!

You will have a lot of different things on your mind, this Christmastime, from defrosting the turkey, to sorting out your charitable donations, to remembering the batteries. Don’t let 2018 be one of them.

Instead, when the official Christmas holiday is over (and you may have already thrown yourself headlong into the sales, heaven help us), remember there is a quiet time between Christmas and the official New Year. This is a whole week, when you will still probably be cramming in family visits, sales visits, endless queues at the returns counters … So do yourself a favour, and make a decision, here, now, today, to take a few hours back from the mayhem, and give yourself The Gift of the Present.

I mean the pun. Take a few hours in the here-and-now. Enjoy the moment. Don’t live your life through the video function on your ‘phone. Here’s a few tips for you to try, which will definitely give you a few fresh perspectives for your 2018 plans.

1. Decide to take a few hours where you won’t be bothered, and where you can think clearly, calmly and quietly. That may not be possible as one big block (I envy you if it is). That doesn’t matter. Plan the time, and tell whoever needs to help you to protect that time, that this is important to you and therefore is important to them, and ask for their help. Put imaginary razor-wire around that time! Keep warm, maybe snuggled on the sofa or in bed. Allow yourself to relax and think.
2. Next, get yourself a pen and paper. Maybe even ask for a journal for Christmas – a book in which you can write your private thoughts, aspirations and plans. No, this isn’t a job for a tablet or your ‘phone. It’s how our brains are wired – we make things happen if we have actually written them. By hand.
3. When you have your quiet time (let’s call it your Goal time), decide how you want to be in a year’s time. What sort of 2018 do you want to have? What will 2018 give to you? How will that make you feel? Make sure that you have a clear idea of how you want to be and feel at the end of 2018. Note that down, along with any thoughts you have around that.
4. Now think about how you want to be and feel, and put your thoughts into this sentence: “As at the end of December 2018, I am/have …..”. This isn’t to get you to list all the possessions you have or want. It is to get you to state your key achievement, so this is about something you will have done that will bring you the benefits you really desire. Note this down, along with any thoughts you have around that.
5. That statement is your goal for the year. Reflect on it, and check it really gives you what you want for 2018. If it doesn’t, simply repeat the process. Check what you are wanting your goal to reflect – does it make you feel a bit greedy, or a bit selfish, or a bit too advantaged, or as if you are giving yourself away too freely perhaps (this is a biggie for child-minding relatives so new [grand]parents beware!). When you are happy with your goal, write it down again and look at it, there on the page. Note down your feelings as you look at it.
6. While you are taking notes, you may well want to note down what that goal means to you. These notes will help you to keep motivated on the tricky days. What will the goal mean to those closest to you? How motivating do you find that? Note down what you want for yourself and what you would like for others (remember they have to want it too).
7. There are lots of other goal-setting tips and techniques that a professional coach like me can use with you. A couple of things you can do by yourself, however, is to write down a big list of random as-they-come-into-your-head things you could do, to get you to your goal this time next year. Bonkers things, weird things, expensive things. It’s only ink or pencil and paper that you are using, and it’s your secret journal so no-one’s going to see your list but you. List lots and lots and lots of things – the more the merrier. Note them all down. Then put a star by the ones that you would really enjoy doing, or that you could do straight away. Put a big star by the one thing that is possible and would move you on the most, towards your goal.
8. The other thing you can do all by yourself is to decide to do the thing, by which you put the big star! Make a note of what you will do, what you need to make it possible, when you will do it. Remind yourself of all the things you wrote down, about how much your goal means to you. Then go back and look at your big star action. How much do you want to achieve it? How important is it, to moving you on toward your goal? Make lots of notes for yourself, about how much it would mean to you. How will it be, when you have taken that action and moved closer to your goal for 2018? How good will you feel? What else looks like a good action for taking next?
9. You can make other lists and action plans, and more notes, but this will be a great first start. It will help you to have a plan, which in turn will help you to face the New Year with that bit more confidence, composure and assurance. And you also know how to plan for the next action, and the one after that, and the one after that … until you have achieved your 2018 goal! Congratulate yourself on how far you have come, just in getting to one action. As you take more and more actions, congratulate yourself more. Everyone needs encouragement!
10. The final tip is: be nice to yourself. Don’t snuggle up in the warm and then fret and worry and criticise yourself. That’s not the point at all! If your first action doesn’t happen quite the way you thought it would, or doesn’t give you quite the outcome you hoped for, that’s life. Simply note that down, and use it, together with all your great planning notes, to focus on something very specific to really nail next time. When you have nailed that, remember what it was that worked, note that down, and keep on making progress. Reward yourself for progress and keep focus on the main motivation – how much you want that feeling of success around your goal, when it comes to December 2018.

It’s important to remember that real life gets in the way sometimes, so allow for that in your plans and in your self-talk. Keep focused, keep on plan and keep taking action. You will get there, but it may be a slightly different “there”. That’s OK if it still gives you what you wanted from 2018. Be flexible in your approach, and be kind to yourself and others in 2018, because kindness is for life, not just for Christmas.

If you have found these tips useful, and would like to explore personal goal-setting in more detail, please get in touch. My clients always comment on how useful they find our action planning sessions, and you will too. So please click to make contact and let’s get you started towards 2018 .. and beyond!

At this time of year, people are often busy. Many people are very busy. Some are so busy they can’t take time to consider quite how busy they are. And some are busy being busy. This blog post is for them – for you – if you are so busy telling yourself (and anyone who’ll listen) that you are so busy, that you don’t get anything done … because you’re busy …

In our society of immediacy, it is an expectation that we will request and receive everything fast. That means people, data and things have to move faster than before. Wait a minute … “have to”? Who says? Unless it’s a matter of international nuclear tension, or a life/death medical emergency, is it really … really … that much of an imperative? Don’t we mean that “people expect them to …” or “people have asked for them to …” or even “I want them to …”? We tend to assume there are fearsome penalties for those who under-deliver. The irony is, so many people are busy being busy that many of them tend to under-deliver because they didn’t want to offend or deter the others, so promised to do too much, didn’t know where to start and therefore didn’t quite do what they said they would do, when they said they would do it.

First rule of project management? “Say No”. Seems a bit negative? Perhaps, if taken literally. However, if you stop to think about it, saying “yes” all the time doesn’t actually get you anywhere either. It is impossible to please everyone with everything that you do. So stop trying to. And it is “trying” – you aren’t actually pleasing many people, when you are so busy, are you?

Master Yoda, according to Star Wards legend, said,

The best thing that you can Do, if you are busy being busy, is to stop trying. In fact, stop doing much of what you are doing. How about checking in with yourself, and seeing just how much benefit you are getting out of being this busy, and how much benefit you therefore are to others? Hhmmmm – thought so – not looking great, is it?

So how can you solve this? You can’t stop people asking you to do things (although you can help them to make sure they plan a bit better). You can’t have fewer things to get done by Christmas (although you can make plans for next year, so you know you will be in a better place then). What you can do is to consider what you need to get done, by when. You may find making a list will help; get it all out of your head and onto paper, so you can see exactly the scale of the issue. It may be, that when you look at the list, you can see immediately a few things that, once done quickly, will make the rest of it easy. If you do, great! Do them now!

You may find the list is still looooong. Too looooong! Before you descend back into panic, evoking the worst Kermit memes from social media, try this. Ask yourself the reason that you have to do these things. If you don’t have to do all of them, then great! Delegate them!

There is a trick you have up your sleeve, if you did but know it. Remember Master Yoda and his “Do Not”? What is there on that list which you don’t actually have to do at all? And, if you think about it, no-one actually has to do at all? If there are any items on your list which come under this heading, then that’s a big fat line drawn straight through them. Don’t do them. Simple.

By now, you will still have a list, but it will have fewer items on it (if it hasn’t, you need to read this post from the top and have another go … and this time, trust others to help you … their work will be good enough). If you do have to do a lot of things, that’s still great. You simply need to plan them. With so little time before Christmas, you will have a deadline. Work back from that, and identify what needs to be in place, to ensure you can deliver. And when you are doing this, you may wish to check what “deliver” means. Does your customer, boss, family member actually have a clear date in mind? If they don’t and it can wait until after Christmas, how would it be if you explored that with them and secured a confirmed deadline for first week in 2018? That would be another off the list. Then you have to put into order of importance, the rest of the list. How you define importance is up to you, of course – it might be keeping the boss happy, or your key clients, or a new client, or a child (or a combination of those, depending on how much they stamp their feet!).

A final observation here – are you busy being busy because you don’t want to do the things on your list? If that’s the case, and you can delegate, postpone or ditch them, then do that. If you have to do something you don’t want to do, you may find that you are putting it off. It may be because you don’t like the person, or you don’t like the task (or a combination of the two). It may, however, be that you worry you won’t be able to do it well enough, and so you are, in fact, finding reasons not to do whatever it is that is still on your list. If that’s the case, how are you defining “well enough”? Who’s defining good here? If it’s the client or recipient, then that’s fair – provided that they are being fair. If it’s you, however, you might just want to check in with yourself that you aren’t assuming everyone shares your standards. It might be that your client/boss/gift recipient would be happy just to know you could do something to keep them ticking over with whatever it is they want; meanwhile you have been having sleepless nights worrying how to do it perfectly. Very very few people actually want and expect perfection in all things. To expect it of yourself is a shortcut to mental upset. So look after yourself, as well as the client/boss/family member. Check what they want, what they really really want, and plan how you deliver that. All this worked for the Spice Girls, worked for General Eisenhower for D-Day … I reckon it will work for you!

If you have seen some things in this post which looked familiar, and would like to explore them further, please feel free to contact me to find out more. My clients frequently come to me with some form of overwhelm, and they leave with plans, purpose and clarity. If that looks good to you, simply get in touch and we can get started …