Perfectionism is a common trait among leaders. It’s the near-uncontrollable drive to achieve excellence in everything we do. However, when taken to the extreme, perfectionism can become a real problem, rather than an asset. In fact, it can wreck careers, relationships and even lives. The poor head teacher who took her own life earlier this year in response to what appears a partial and ill-expressed Ofsted review of her school is a tragic example of how perfectionism can really damage us.
In January 2023 I led two workshops on this topic at the Academy of Women’s Leadership conference in London. To be honest, I chose the topic because many of my clients struggle with perfectionism – and so do I!
“Hello, my name is Astrid, I am 57 and I am a recovering workaholic perfectionist”.
I get the challenges. I really do.
We were able to have a great discussion in both sessions, where I shared some simple hints and hacks to shift the perfectionist mindset and allow in a little self-tolerance, or “self-tenderness” as one of my lovely audience termed it. I love that!
To explain a little about this, I thought I would share three simple ways to tackle perfectionism and find ways you can accept things being OK as a leader. Here they are (but remember, they are just the tip of the iceberg):
- Recognize that perfection is unattainable. The first step in overcoming perfectionism is to recognize that it’s an unrealistic goal. You’re not a unicorn. No one is perfect. In fact, constant striving for perfection leads to stress and burnout. Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on doing your best and being proud of what you achieve. It will be enough.
- Set realistic standards. We perfectionists often set impossibly high standards for ourselves. That often means we set them for others too. In turn, this can lead to frustration and disappointment when those standards aren’t met. Instead of setting unattainable goals, set realistic standards that challenge you but are still achievable.
- Learn to let go. As you probably recognise, perfectionists often have a hard time letting go. Undeniably, ceding control and delegating tasks to others is a challenge. Nevertheless, as a leader it’s important to trust your team and delegate responsibilities. This not only helps you avoid burnout but also empowers your team members to grow and develop their skills.
So, we can see there are actually some pretty simple ways to find balance as leaders and avoid the pitfalls of perfectionism. By recognizing that perfection is actually unattainable, setting realistic standards, and learning to let go, you can achieve success while maintaining your well-being. No-one will think less of you if you let them know you’re not a unicorn after all.
Remember: your idea of OK is most other people’s idea of perfection. OK really is OK.
If this has struck a chord with you and you would like to know more about my work in this area, please get in touch and let’s have a chat about how I could help you and your team.
Image courtesy of Unsplash.