Every year, I write something about goal setting for the start of that year. Every year, I meet people who, by the first week in January, have forgotten/ignored/amended their goals … if they had any at all … and the anticlimax has set in. It doesn’t have to be that way, folks!
You will have a lot of different things on your mind, this Christmastime, from defrosting the turkey, to sorting out your charitable donations, to remembering the batteries. Don’t let 2018 be one of them.
Instead, when the official Christmas holiday is over (and you may have already thrown yourself headlong into the sales, heaven help us), remember there is a quiet time between Christmas and the official New Year. This is a whole week, when you will still probably be cramming in family visits, sales visits, endless queues at the returns counters … So do yourself a favour, and make a decision, here, now, today, to take a few hours back from the mayhem, and give yourself The Gift of the Present.
I mean the pun. Take a few hours in the here-and-now. Enjoy the moment. Don’t live your life through the video function on your ‘phone. Here’s a few tips for you to try, which will definitely give you a few fresh perspectives for your 2018 plans.
- Decide to take a few hours where you won’t be bothered, and where you can think clearly, calmly and quietly. That may not be possible as one big block (I envy you if it is). That doesn’t matter. Plan the time, and tell whoever needs to help you to protect that time, that this is important to you and therefore is important to them, and ask for their help. Put imaginary razor-wire around that time! Keep warm, maybe snuggled on the sofa or in bed. Allow yourself to relax and think.
- Next, get yourself a pen and paper. Maybe even ask for a journal for Christmas – a book in which you can write your private thoughts, aspirations and plans. No, this isn’t a job for a tablet or your ‘phone. It’s how our brains are wired – we make things happen if we have actually written them. By hand.
- When you have your quiet time (let’s call it your Goal time), decide how you want to be in a year’s time. What sort of 2018 do you want to have? What will 2018 give to you? How will that make you feel? Make sure that you have a clear idea of how you want to be and feel at the end of 2018. Note that down, along with any thoughts you have around that.
- Now think about how you want to be and feel, and put your thoughts into this sentence: “As at the end of December 2018, I am/have …..”. This isn’t to get you to list all the possessions you have or want. It is to get you to state your key achievement, so this is about something you will have done that will bring you the benefits you really desire. Note this down, along with any thoughts you have around that.
- That statement is your goal for the year. Reflect on it, and check it really gives you what you want for 2018. If it doesn’t, simply repeat the process. Check what you are wanting your goal to reflect – does it make you feel a bit greedy, or a bit selfish, or a bit too advantaged, or as if you are giving yourself away too freely perhaps (this is a biggie for child-minding relatives so new [grand]parents beware!). When you are happy with your goal, write it down again and look at it, there on the page. Note down your feelings as you look at it.
- While you are taking notes, you may well want to note down what that goal means to you. These notes will help you to keep motivated on the tricky days. What will the goal mean to those closest to you? How motivating do you find that? Note down what you want for yourself and what you would like for others (remember they have to want it too).
- There are lots of other goal-setting tips and techniques that a professional coach like me can use with you. A couple of things you can do by yourself, however, is to write down a big list of random as-they-come-into-your-head things you could do, to get you to your goal this time next year. Bonkers things, weird things, expensive things. It’s only ink or pencil and paper that you are using, and it’s your secret journal so no-one’s going to see your list but you. List lots and lots and lots of things – the more the merrier. Note them all down. Then put a star by the ones that you would really enjoy doing, or that you could do straight away. Put a big star by the one thing that is possible and would move you on the most, towards your goal.
- The other thing you can do all by yourself is to decide to do the thing, by which you put the big star! Make a note of what you will do, what you need to make it possible, when you will do it. Remind yourself of all the things you wrote down, about how much your goal means to you. Then go back and look at your big star action. How much do you want to achieve it? How important is it, to moving you on toward your goal? Make lots of notes for yourself, about how much it would mean to you. How will it be, when you have taken that action and moved closer to your goal for 2018? How good will you feel? What else looks like a good action for taking next?
- You can make other lists and action plans, and more notes, but this will be a great first start. It will help you to have a plan, which in turn will help you to face the New Year with that bit more confidence, composure and assurance. And you also know how to plan for the next action, and the one after that, and the one after that … until you have achieved your 2018 goal! Congratulate yourself on how far you have come, just in getting to one action. As you take more and more actions, congratulate yourself more. Everyone needs encouragement!
- The final tip is: be nice to yourself. Don’t snuggle up in the warm and then fret and worry and criticise yourself. That’s not the point at all! If your first action doesn’t happen quite the way you thought it would, or doesn’t give you quite the outcome you hoped for, that’s life. Simply note that down, and use it, together with all your great planning notes, to focus on something very specific to really nail next time. When you have nailed that, remember what it was that worked, note that down, and keep on making progress. Reward yourself for progress and keep focus on the main motivation – how much you want that feeling of success around your goal, when it comes to December 2018.
It’s important to remember that real life gets in the way sometimes, so allow for that in your plans and in your self-talk. Keep focused, keep on plan and keep taking action. You will get there, but it may be a slightly different “there”. That’s OK if it still gives you what you wanted from 2018. Be flexible in your approach, and be kind to yourself and others in 2018, because kindness is for life, not just for Christmas.
If you have found these tips useful, and would like to explore personal goal-setting in more detail, please get in touch. My clients always comment on how useful they find our action planning sessions, and you will too. So please click to make contact and let’s get you started towards 2018 .. and beyond!