“People leave managers”. It’s an old saying but it’s largely true. A bad manager can be the difference between enjoying work life and it being intolerable. In this article, we explore the transformative power of learning from bad managers. It really can be the way to build and grow as a successful, popular and effective manager.
Managers are almost always a significant influence over our working life. They can be mentors, guiding lights or, often, stumbling blocks in our journeys toward success. Yet, even from the less-than-ideal managers, we can glean valuable lessons. We can then shape our own management approach using those lessons. For instance, we may learn about the importance of knowing your core values and then sticking to them. Or, alternatively, we may learn the dangers of ignoring your own core values to try to fit into a corporate culture where you will never be happy as a result. We may even learn how to treat a team, because of the poor way in which we have been treated.
A client recently confided in me that much of his leadership journey to date had been informed by seeing managers behaving badly in his early career, and deciding he wanted to do the opposite! That has had a potent impact on this particular client. Specifically, it has given him clear ethical standards, a warm and trustworthy communication style and, increasingly, an ability to introduce boundaries for his team and himself, which protect their time and wellbeing and still get results. And they love him for it.
A model which can explains this
There is a handy leadership training model which can explain this in five easy stages. The SCARF model, conceptualised by David Rock, offers a framework to understand the social dimensions that influence human behaviour in organisational settings. SCARF stands for:
Status
Certainty
Autonomy
Relatedness, and
Fairness.
Each element represents a fundamental driver, representing a motivation to move away from a perceived threat (negative), or towards a perceived reward (positive).
SCARF and bad managers
Given we are positioning this article in the negative motivation space, let’s work up an example of a bad manager. Imagine a tyrannical manager who disregards feedback and micromanages every aspect of their team’s work. Such behaviour undermines Status, leaving team members feeling undervalued and disempowered. Certainty dies too, because unpredictability becomes the norm. That is likely to lead to increased anxiety and discomfort across their team (and probably elsewhere). That in turn leads to decreased performance. Autonomy is stifled, which in turn stifles creativity and puts a halt to innovation in any meaningful sense. Relatedness suffers because the operating environment is fraught with control and fear, damaging trust. This lack of trust, in turn, may result in biases coming into play. Favouritism or arbitrary decision-making may be tools in the bad managers’ armoury. This, of course, will compromise any perception of Fairness. Our old “friend” affinity bias kicks in, where cliques form and some workers are “in” with the boss, while others are seen as somehow lesser. All in all, not a great working environment.
Conversely, let’s imagine a leader who embodies the opposite traits. This leader recognises the impact of their actions on Status, fostering a culture where every contribution is acknowledged and valued. Certainty is provided through clear communication and transparent decision-making processes. Autonomy is encouraged, empowering individuals to take ownership of their work and explore innovative solutions. Relatedness thrives as the leader engenders a sense of belonging and camaraderie within the team. None of that affinity bias nonsense. Fairness will be seen to be all around, ensuring equitable treatment and opportunities for all. Again, no cliques or favouritism. Whether taught or inferred, this leadership development will have been incredibly positive, not only for the manager but for their team too.
Learning from Bad Managers
You can see how it could be possible to learn from the bad manager in this way. It doesn’t take a lengthy leadership development programme to instil this learning. It might only take one unpleasant or disillusioning encounter to create a learning opportunity that lasts a lifetime. Most commonly, however, it is a series of repetitive disappointments and irritations that build layers of learning.
Each interaction, each frustration, can be a negative if taken at face value. However, any manager intent on personal development will choose to take negative events as a catalyst for growth and self-discovery. As humans, we learn resilience in the face of adversity, adaptability amidst the chaos. In the leadership development space, this all explains the importance of empathy in leadership.
It pays to be a good leader
Through these experiences, we form and develop our values and aspirations, shaping the kind of leader we aspire to be. It was this that offered my client his inspiration – and his success. In essence, it is possible to learn positives from negative experiences. This can create an empathetic leader. This, in turn, makes for a leader that others turn to and that teams don’t leave. Put bluntly, it pays to be a good leader.
Bad managers are not the ones that shine a light for us to follow. Rather, they cast a shadow that throws what we want and would prefer into stark contrast. That contrast means we have a double choice. Not only can we move away from the challenge – or even threat – of a bad manager and leave them behind, but we can also leave behind their kind of behaviours. This gives us the reward of freedom from a bad manager, and also offers our teams the possibility to work for a manager who behaves better, leads better, is better to be around. Ultimately, it’s an ethical choice.
I am grateful to my client for his honesty and openness, not only in sharing his story with me, but also in embracing the learning. His commitment to that learning is something his teams enjoy. They enjoy it so much they stay. And that’s the proof, really, isn’t it?